September 6, 2012

• Never give up hope

  

  it’s so much easier to convince yourself you’re madly in love with someone when you know nothing about him.

  

  don’t beat yourself up for not knowing the answers. you don’t always have to know who you are. you don’t have to have the big picture, or know where you’re heading. sometimes, it’s enough just to know what you’re going to do next.

   

  

  the important thing is to not be bitter about life’s disappointments. learn to let go of the past. and recognize every day won’t be sunny. and when you find yourself in the darkness of despair, remember, it’s only in the black of night that you can see the stars. and those stars will lead you back home. so don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. maybe you’ll get everything you wished for. maybe you’ll get more than you could’ve imagined. who knows where life will take you. the road is long. and in the end, the journey is the destination.

  

  her life was beginning to make sense again, although she couldn’t say that she was enjoying it. but her mind was clear, and her heart was not constantly as heavy. only when she thought about him. but she knew that in time, she’d survive it. she had done it before and would again. eventually the heart repairs

   

  

  we ate well and cheaply and drank well and cheaply and slept well and warm together and loved each other

   

  

  i want you to know that i love you. i never did stop, not for one gasping second. my love for you is unconditional, and it will never end as long as i live. i refuse to find another when i have the one i want. i never doubted us, but you did. i never stopped thinking about you, even though you stopped thinking about me. i never wanted to let go, but you did.

   

  

  it was always late at night, when everything and everyone else was quiet, that those voices would rise like ghosts, soft and haunting, filling your mind until sleep finally came.

   

  

  i suppose i’m a little bit scared. you might not like that i felt so much for him. but that was then. you are here now, you make me and define me. it’s over after all, but he’s still a part of me. and i want you to know all about it, so there are no secrets.

   

  

  i don’t think i’m alone in this. the more i get to know other people, the more i realize it’s kind of everyone’s flaw. staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still..it feels safer somehow. and if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected..who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. chances are it could be even worse. 

   

  

  I’m tough, ambitious, and know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.

  

  What I’m most afraid of is that feeling..The feeling of being alone; of being lost. That feeling when you have absolutely no idea what’s going on inside of you. When you have no idea what’s coming next or where you’re going. When you feel lost while you’re just sitting in your room. When you’re just completely empty inside and you can actually feel it.

  

  There are some things that I’ll never understand. I’ll never understand the goosebumps I get when first stepping into hot water. I’ll never understand the dreams I have with strangers in them, people I’ve never met or seen. I’ll never understand how a person can keep going back to the ones who hurt them. But what I do understand is that once we do understand everything, the world loses its shine. Curiosity killed the cat, but the cat had nine lives.

  

  I was mid-laugh when you called. Just reading your name from my phone stunned me so fiercely that for two seconds, I truly couldn’t breathe. & from my sudden silence, all of my friends could tell that it was you.

  
  

  Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go doesn’t mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible–controlling that which we cannot–and instead, focus on what is possible

  

  it just sucks. there’s no other way for me to really describe it. i turned on my old phone the other day and read conversations between us when we were just friends. i want to say i don’t regret and that it was worth it. but i don’t know. you’re not even in my life anymore at all. part of me thinks i would have much rather kept you as a friend than lost you all together. wherever you are, i hope it’s beautiful.

  

  No one can truly tell you what it’s like to be in love, because love
  it’s different for each person. It is good, it is bad, it has its up and downs,
  it’s abandoned and it’s pursued. You have to find your own meaning of
  love.

  

  I miss you in a way that tempting boys can’t replace. Several lips have found mine since yours but, none were ever worth a chase. Call me pathetic, at least I’m on your mind. My dad says I’m too good for you and my little sister wishes you were still around so she could try to impress you. My mom says we were good together and I’m still looking for that mistake that made us unwind. I know you would be proud of me because we always spoke of the dreams I’m living. I hope you’re doing fine and I don’t find you pathetic but, you’re still always on my mind

  

  It was the biggest mistake of my life. He was the first, and the last person that I ever loved like that. And I know everyone says that about their first but, when he and I were together it felt, perfect.

  

  Look at you. You’re young. And you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget that you have school the next day. Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours. When are you going to realize that you can do whatever you want?

  

  Smiling but we’re close to tears, even after all these years, we just now got the feeling that we’re meeting for the first time

  

  He had proven to me , without a doubt , that he didn’t need me & if it was the last thing I ever did , I was going to prove to him , without a doubt , that I didn’t need him either

  

  After a while, you just can’t cry anymore. You just have to  believe that what happens is what’s supposed to happen and you can’t change that, even if you tried. So just dry the tears and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

  

  • 2:43 pm
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